My Take On Life
I heard a message this week about loss, and I’ll be honest with you, it stayed with me a lot longer than I expected it to. With hunting season coming, most of you who know me; know where my mind usually goes this time of year. I’m thinking about deer movement, cameras, stands, shooting my bow, wind direction, cold fronts, food sources, changing patterns and all the little pieces we hunters pay attention to. Because, we know one small detail can make the difference when that opportunity finally comes walking through the woods. But this month I really don’t want to talk to you about killing a deer, because something hit me this week that is a whole lot bigger than antlers, tags, trophies or anything we are going to hang on the wall. I want to talk about life, and I want to talk about loss, because whether we like admitting it or not, loss is coming for every single one of us in one form or another.
Photo provided by Created Outdoors Staff Member Tony Fall
I look at my dog Zada. She’s my little pitty, and she’s almost 12 years old now. Lately the arthritis has really started showing itself. We are giving her different medications, trying to make her comfortable, helping her when she needs it and paying attention to things we probably didn’t have to think about when she was younger. Some days she acts pretty good, and other days you can see that age catching up with her. I hate even saying it, but I know what’s coming someday. I don’t want to think about that day, and I surely don’t want to imagine walking into my house and not seeing her there, because after that many years they are not “just a dog.” Anybody who has loved a good dog knows exactly what I mean. They’re there when you walk through the door after a rough day, they don’t care whether you made money, lost money, missed a deer, killed the biggest buck of your life or absolutely failed at something you thought you could handle. They just want to be beside you. And someday, that little spot where she lays is going to be empty. So here is a question I have had to ask myself: Am I enjoying her now, or am I already mourning what I know is coming? Am I taking one more walk, sitting on the floor with her, scratching her head and appreciating the years God let me have her, or am I so busy worrying about tomorrow that I am missing today?
Then I look at one of my brothers in our men’s group who just lost his father, and I can see the hurt in him. There is no fancy Christian saying, no inspirational quote and no magic sentence I can give a man in that situation that makes everything better. I’ve been there. In January of 2019, I lost my father, and my dad was my man. You can understand in your head that death is part of life, you can sit in church and hear about heaven, you can attend funerals and tell somebody else you’re praying for them, but when it is your dad, your mom, your wife, your husband, your brother, your child or that friend who has walked through life beside you, it hits completely different. There are things I wish I could ask my dad today. There are conversations I wish we could sit down and have just one more time, and there are stories that I probably heard a hundred times while he was alive that I would give just about anything to hear for the hundred-and-first time. Isn’t that something? The story that used to make you think, “Dad, I’ve heard this one before,” suddenly becomes the story you would sit through all night just to hear his voice again. So, let me ask you something that might sting a little bit: Who in your life keeps calling that you keep sending to voicemail? Who keeps telling the same story that you are tired of hearing? Who have you decided you’ll spend time with “when things slow down”? What if they aren’t here when your schedule finally opens up?
Photo provided by Created Outdoors Staff Member Tony Fall
Then I look at my wife Pam, and what she is walking through with her mom and dad getting older. Her dad is a man I love dearly. He has fought cancer and battled through health problems for more than 20 years, and now Alzheimer’s is taking things little by little. That disease is cruel because it doesn’t always take somebody all at once. Sometimes you watch pieces disappear, memories get foggy, conversations change and abilities that once seemed automatic, become difficult. Her mom has her own battles with her back, mobility and everyday things that are harder now than they used to be. They are reaching that place in life where living alone isn’t as simple as it once was. So, I watch my wife traveling back and forth, worrying, making phone calls and trying to make decisions nobody ever really wants to have to make for their parents. Where are they going to live? What kind of help do they need? What is safe? What will make them happy? What do they still want? How do we honor them while also admitting life has changed? Somewhere along the road, something flips, and the people who spent their lives taking care of you slowly become the people you are trying to take care of. I don’t care how old you are, that will make you stop and think.
It makes me realize how much of life we spend preparing for things that might happen while ignoring things we know are happening. Hunters, we are some of the best preparers in the world when we care about something. We will spend hours checking cameras, hanging stands, trimming lanes, planting food plots. We watch weather apps, check moon phases, study wind. We spend time and money buying gear, sharpening broadheads, shooting over and over, moving a stand 20 yards because we think one mature buck may walk past that tree sometime in October. We do all that because we don’t want to miss one opportunity. But how much preparation are we putting into being a better husband? How much time are we putting into being a father, grandfather, son, brother or friend? When was the last time you sat across the table from somebody you love and gave them your full attention without that phone in your hand? When was the last time your wife was talking to you and you were really listening instead of thinking about what needed done tomorrow? When was the last time you called your dad just because? When was the last time you asked your mom to tell you one of those stories from when she was young? We prepare like crazy for a deer that may never walk past us, but are we preparing our hearts for the people God has already placed right in front of us?
Photo provided by Created Outdoors Staff Member Tony Fall
Listen to me, because I have been guilty of it too. Things do not slow down. We tell ourselves they will, but they don’t. After work slows down. After the kids’ schedules slow down. After hunting season. After Christmas. After this project. After we pay this off. After we finish this remodel. After, after, after. Then one day there is no after. Eventually somebody’s chair is empty. Eventually the phone number you always called doesn’t answer anymore. Eventually that hunting buddy isn’t walking down the trail beside you. Eventually that dog isn’t standing at the door when you pull into the driveway. Eventually Mom or Dad needs more help than you ever imagined, and somewhere in that moment you realize how fast it all went. So, what are you putting off right now that you already know you need to do? Who do you need to forgive? Who do you need to call? Who needs to hear “I love you”? Who needs an apology? Who needs you to quit being stubborn and just show up?
James 4:14 says, “Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes.”. I don’t read that as God trying to scare us. I read that as God grabbing us by the shoulders and saying, “Pay attention. This matters.” You have today. I have today. That is what we have been given. So, use it. Call your dad. Call your mom. Sit with your grandparents. Go see the friend you’ve been thinking about. Put the phone down when your wife is talking to you. Sit on the porch a little longer. Take the dog for another walk even if she moves slower than she used to. Tell your kids you are proud of them. Tell your brother you love him. Tell somebody what they have meant in your life before you are standing at a funeral trying to put those words into a three-minute speech. And when somebody is grieving, quit worrying so much about having the perfect thing to say. Sometimes there is absolutely nothing to say. Don’t make it complicated. Show up. Sit beside them. Let them talk. Let them cry. Let there be silent. Bring them a meal. Cut their grass. Take them coffee. Be a brother. Be a friend. Romans 12:15 tells us to “mourn with those who mourn.” It doesn’t tell us to explain everything. It doesn’t tell us to fix somebody’s pain. Sometimes the most Christlike thing you can do is sit beside somebody in their pain and refuse to leave them there alone.
There is one more thing I know, and this is where my hope is. For those of us who know Jesus, death does not get the final word. Jesus said in John 11:25; “I am the resurrection and the life. The one who believes in me will live, even though they die.”. I have stood beside a grave. I have buried people I love. I have watched age change people. I am watching it now in my own family, and if the Lord allows me to live long enough, somebody will stand beside my grave someday too. That is not being negative. That is life. But my hope is not that I can somehow avoid death. My hope is Jesus. My hope is that because of Him the grave is not the end of the story, and if that is really what I believe, then it should change how I live right now.
So, maybe the question is not whether you and I are going to experience loss, because we are. The real question is what are we doing with the people God has placed in our lives before that loss comes? Are you loving them well? Are you present? Are you paying attention? Are you holding onto some stupid grudge that will not matter one bit when that person is gone? Are you spending all your time chasing something that cannot love you back? Are you building memories, or are you just building a schedule? Those are hard questions, but I think we need to ask them.
Photo provided by Created Outdoors Staff Member Tony Fall
Hunting season is coming, and believe me, I am excited about it. Get out there. Enjoy God’s creation. Sit in the woods. Watch the sunrise. Chase that mature buck. Take your kids. Take your grandkids. Take somebody who has never hunted. Make memories that you can talk about for years. But don’t get so busy chasing the next thing that you miss what God already gave you. Trophies collect dust. Antlers end up hanging on walls. Pictures eventually fade. Money comes and money goes. Jobs change. Seasons end. But the people sitting around your table, the ones who call you Dad, Grandpa, husband, brother, son or friend, those are the blessings that matter. Take the time. Make the call. Drive over there. Give the hug. Say the words. Ask the question. Forgive somebody. Sit a little longer. Don’t wait until somebody is gone, and then tell a room full of people how much you loved them. Tell them while they can still hear you. Because you don’t know how much time you have, neither do I. Maybe that is exactly why today matters so much. God loves you, and so do I.
P.S. One I'm chasing is called Donald Trump lll
Send prayer requests to:
Written by,
Tony Fall Created Outdoors Staff member